A one way Conversation with Feeling

In recalling some of the stories relating to our work with resettling Vietnamese families my mind brings me back to many more events from this chapter of our lives. This one will be the last I use for this blog but perhaps for memory sake I might write a few more of them down.  In recalling some of these events I think a few others may have some value in the future for all who were involved.

I recently became interested in knowing something about the ideas of the major religions of the world.  This interest was spurred by watching the news and not understanding very well world events. So I thought I should maybe know something about what stands behind some of the problems we now experience in our world.  I bought a book that told a lot about 8 major religions.  I was primarily interested in how some of the religions could generate a militant dimension that today impacts all of us.  As I read the book it was also striking that of the 8 major religions, only two, those being Christianity and Islam, have as one of their motivating factors, the idea of salvation.  It is interesting to me that many of the problems and threats we now experience come out of different sects of these two faiths. 

As it applies to our work with resettlement I was never able to determine or understand where these families stood religiously.  There was an idea going around at that time that since the church was involved in the resettlement there might be chances to have the families adopt the Christian faith.  So picking up the families we had worked with and taking them to church was part of the picture.  It is hard for me now to think about this. One morning I looked over at one of the families, none who knew English, listening to a sermon about grace and trying to sing “Standing on the Promises”.  All I could do is feel a little sorry for them.  Perhaps the only value that came out of this was more experience and exposure to the English language and some nice friendships with the people at River Terrace.  River Terrace was a progressive church and eventually relaxed this pressure and did the work from the perspective of Christian compassion rather than gaining souls for Jesus. One other value was that I let Mu do the driving after we would pick him up for church.  I think he had not driven a car before.  Deb warned me many times about breaking the law but I knew he would not pass his driving test without some time behind the wheel.  I figured if we died in this venture at least God would save me.  Plus, I did not want to be driving him around forever. He passed his drivers test on the first try.  Somebody from the church gave him a used Grand Prix.  A couple of weeks later I was helping him change the heater core in this thing.  I have not worried about salvation much since, except that the language that the heater core had to hear might have been a little over the top. (located under the glove box in older Pontiacs.)

One of the nice things about most oriental cultures is that tremendous respect is given to people who are older.   In one of the families was a Grandmother who had come over to the USA with them.  Many of the families we worked with had her offspring or were related to her in some way. She was kind of the matriarch of the family and was very honored by them.  I could tell she was getting feebler as time past.  I think she was about 85 years old.  I received a call one night that she had passed away and the family asked that I visit the funeral home the following night.  Deb had to work that night so I entered one of the rooms at Gorsline Runcimon funeral home alone. I was struck by the sight.  About 35 people were gathered, kneeling on the floor, heads bowed, all with black hair ranging in age from 5 years old to about 50.  The Grandmothers body was in a nice casket in the front of the room.  There was the audible sound of weeping in the room that went on the entire time I was there.  One by one everyone in the room would stand up and go about one foot away from the casket. They would engage in about a 5 minute conversation with the Grandmother.  I could not be sure what they were saying because of the language.  I must say that the conversations had somewhat of a one sided dimension to them, but they were nonetheless delivered with great emotion and love.

Eventually one of the adults came to the back of room where I was standing and told me it was my turn.  I went to the front took my place and the best I can recall I said something like this.  “You are obviously loved in a way I have not before witnessed. Your family is safe and you have been able to see their life in this new land.  In whatever you have faced in your life you can rest with the satisfaction that the honor you now take with you is an honor reserved for a very few. May the God I know take your soul to a place of greatness that none of us will ever be able describe.” 

Then Mu came and asked me to do a prayer. I said I was never sure he believed in something like this.  Mu told me that he did not want to take any chances. He said “just in case you guys are right I figure there is nothing to lose.”  I stood in the front of the room and put my hand on the casket.  I prayed that Gods blessing be with all in the room and that we all be honored and respected on some day in the future in the same way that their Grandmother was now being honored.  I forgot the rest but I did the best I could.

You know I think that God’s blessing has been with them.  And I sense that even though they never learned “Standing on the Promises” and did not know much about “Grace” that the infinite power of God will provide for them in a way that is beyond our human understanding.  It was on this night that I broadened my perspective on how I thought about God. I was not sure how He would do it but to this day I think He will provide in special ways for a broad spectrum of people.  I live with the hope that I am right about this.

In a few days I want to tell you about my proposal to Deb. Just glad my parachute opened…….